ROUND 1
ELIZABETH VALE O/35'S vs INGLE FARM O/35'S ELIZABETH VALE
SUNDAY, APRIL 26 2009
Dads army travelled north to play Elizabeth Vale. Kick off was delayed until an old man’s Ark was removed from the pitch, he wasn’t happy.
No Patto today but still 14 players on hand, including the late arriving Bean.The pitch had held up very well and looked very lush and green. Crowds... or clouds, gathered as we warmed up kicking rocks.. less air in the ball next time coach!
Arsene Toomer dons the boots to steer the ship from defence. We kicked off with the wind and rain at our backs and started to play the ball around, looking like a team hungry for goals. Then hand ball and we are given the nod for a penalty. Kingy steps
up and puts it away. 1-0 Farm.
Then it all goes to pot... Defensive errors, lack of fitness, no running and abusing each other and before we know it its 1-3. The bigger and faster Vale are all over us.
Injuries also take its tole as one by one players leave the field, Dazza, Rudy, Miller, Vinney, leading way to Bean getting an extended run. It stays at 1-3 as half time blows, along with the wind and rain as the old man on the side line tries to wheel his Ark back on to the pitch.
We come back out determined to set the core right and its 1-4 after 5 minutes. Miller falls on top of the attacker who goes down with not even a yelp, while Miller shouts “dive dive” meanwhile the attacker scores while still on the ground.. to the amazement of all.. you had to be there...
We start to play more attacking soccer but can’t get any closer than 30 yards and fail to shoot. Its 1-5 with a cracking 25 yard shot.. the only goal they actually deserve. A 6th is cancelled out when after rounding the keeper a team mate taps the ball in who was soo stupidly offside that even his own team mates tell him.
A 7th may have gone in but no one was sure if it went through the net or not. So our day was brought to an end as it pisses down for the 5th time and we open our account with a 1-5 loss, with reflection we were good for a point. Even without any lines men, home ref was a credit to the game.
So home next week, and looking for a better result, even though last season we played 7 and lost all 7 at home!
(Yes Oggy was there but didn’t play or run the line.. did have a shower though J )
Quote Neil Craig... abuse leads to abuse
Today’s Bean count was 3
Final score: Elizabeth Vale 5 Ingle Farm 1.
By Gavin Powney
ROUND 2
INGLE FARM O/35'S vs PARA HILLS EAST O/35'S WALKLEY PARK SUNDAY, MAY 3, 2009
Our kick off’s were now confirmed to be 11:30 giving Graeme Scott an extra 15 minutes in bed each Sunday. A bumper squad today, 15 in all, back comes Luca and Stevie Pat, and first games for Anto, Stuart and Peter Bria. Vinney is still injured while Bean’s hockey injury is thought to have been self inflicted!
Arsene Toomer drops himself to play sideline coach and motivator. Oggy is still out, and again refuses to run the line. Neil Newman makes another comeback but alas, pulls a calf muscle in the warm up and throws his shirt to the Albanian cat (who thinks we kick off at 1:00pm these days).
Pre match talk and Anto is last out the change rooms as he struts around shirtless showing off his six pack to all who will look.. he thinks Div 10 will be a stroll in the park! The East are a big team and yes Joe Mullen was out there, scaring the pants off Johnny “Vennegoor of Hesselink” Miller who would be marking him for the day.
We won the toss and made East swap sides letting them kick downhill. We had the loan soldier Peter upfront so we looked good for goals today. The game was fast paced and East were here to play. 10 minutes in a super turn and chip from Mullen 18 yards out left the keeper with no chance 0-1. Then a second is an angled shot went past the Farm keeper.
We still continued to attack but found it hard to score, then it was 0-3 after a save shot was deflected to the East forward for a tap in. We were all over the place but didn’t drop our heads. Some good team work and passing and after about 12 passes between Anto and Peter saw Anto smash a bender from 20 yards out into the back of the net to make it 1-3. We now looked like the team we had on paper.
Anto and Peter played a one-two again and Anto cleverly popped the ball into the back of the net to make it 2-3 and we were all over East now, controlling the midfield and keeping their forwards at bay.
Half time and we head off for some oxygen and sun screen. Anto manages to keep his shirt on for the team talk. And as per last week, injuries again take their toll with both Dazza and Steve Pat unable to play on.
We come back out and kick off downhill with instructions not to concede an early goal... Well we didn’t for the first 9 minutes, then some lazy defending leaves that man Mullen unmarked for an easy looping header across the keeper and it's 2-4.
Still we march on and continue to play attacking soccer, their keeper makes 2 great saves and Kingy hits the crossbar from 25 yards out, but we finally make it 3-4 when Anto plays a surgical though ball for Peter to slot the ball away.
We are pumped now and looking for a 4th - still full of run. But 2 more great saves from the East keeper and we can’t find the net.
Then a final lapse and an easy header across goal leads to a miss kick tap in (I still don’t know how) and its 3-5. The whistle blows and brings an end to a very entertaining and skilful game by both teams in front of a bumper crowd of 14 (6 of which were my clan.)
Any other team and we would have won 6-2. We had 10 shots on target for 3 goals, they had 6 for 5 goals. Who knew maths would play a part. Great effort by Johnny “Vennegoor of Hesselink” Miller on Mullen (even if he scored 3) Perkie in the sweepers role, and the 2 new boys up front who ran and presented all day. I’m sure there are a few sore bodies lying on the couch Sunday night.
A much better effort than last week and if we keep playing like this we will soon make light of our current 13th spot on the table.
Coaches quote : “We may have to bring Bean back into the line up next week to support the forwards!”
6 pac of the day... ANTO.. and just imagine if you trained with Boot camp Walker..!
P.S. If anyone else wants to train with Lee and I... its Thurday 7:00pm
BEAN COUNT - 0
Final score: Ingle Farm 3 Para Hills East 5.
By Gavin Powney
ROUND 3
TEA TREE GULLY O/35'S vs INGLE FARM O/35'S TILLEY PARK SUNDAY, MAY 17, 2009
Dads
Army travelled north east to play TTG. Jason Oggy was missing.. as he went to
TTP! Few of us arrived at 10:45 and waited and waited and waited. So our 11:30
kick off became 12:10, I think we weren’t allowed to play until it started to
rain, and it did from 12:00pm – 3:00pm.
A nice turn out today, 15 in all. Stevie Pat
and Dazza were back to test out their injuries. The late kick off didn’t a agree
with Scotty who spent some time dropping some chocolate logs, that really
needed to be covered in asbestos. Dead rats were the words banded around the
change rooms. Special mention to Towner who made sure we appreciated his
efforts in washing and using fabric softener on the team strips.
So we trekked
down to the bottom pitch as it continued to piss down on us. The pitch was well
grassed and slippery but held the rain well.
TTG kicked off and started to attack, but turned the ball over. Then we
went 1-0 up after 5 minutes when Vinney ghosted in on the right and blasted
past the keeper. Our lead only lasted 5 minutes as TTG scored the same way as
we failed to pick up the wingers run. 1-1.
Then some good team passing ended up
with kingy putting Scotty though and he put the ball over the advancing keeper
to make it 2-1. It looked like being a high scoring game. Then 2-2 as the Farm
keep was slow coming off his line and the TTG forward easily got to the ball
and rounded him.
Half time came as we huddled under the team bunker. A few
changes and back out we go. The Albanian Cat gets his chance, and even start to
yell instructions “passs da ball” and “pick up Yurr mann.” You need to Hear this
in Albanian.
TTG are starting to slow down now or do we look faster? We are
passing the ball around with ease as gaps start to open then a Vinney run leads
to him being brought down in the box, and penalty. Dazza wants to take it, but
he’s on the bench, so up steps Peter Ronaldho King - who puts it away with
perfection, 3-2 and we can smell victory.
Then its 4-2, and I can’t remember
who scored.. sorry. Our defence is looking strong now as we repel all TTG
attacks and start our own attacks. Then out of nowhere a 35 yard rocket smashes
into our crossbar only to bounce on the line and fall into our keepers hands.
From here on its all Farm as we shoot, left, right, over and a few back passes
but can’t get a 5th.
Darren the Brus makes a 15 minute cameo, and works up a
sweat chasing the ball around like a lost puppy. The whistle blows and brings
to end an enjoyable and very clean game. We got better the longer the game went
on, and should have scored at least 6 today.
Again great performances by Lee
"Rio" Perkins and Peter "Ronaldho" King. Good to come away with 3 points and even better
that the smell in the change rooms had gone when we returned for our hot
showers.
Special mention to Neil Newman who, still unable to play, came out in
his new Derby tracksuit to run the line in the rain. Home next week and maybe
another run for 6 pack Anto?
Today
bean count : 3 ... Just a footnote here Gav - can perhaps you explain what the bean count is for us all next week? -Ed
For
all those who had Jason Oggy in their Dream Team... no points today
Till next week......
Final Score: Tea Tree Gully O/35's 2, Ingle Farm O/35's 4. By Gavin Powney
ROUND 4
INGLE FARM O/35'S vs ELIZABETH GROVE O/35'S WALKLEY PARK SUNDAY, MAY 24, 2009
NO REPORT WRITTEN :(
Final Score: Ingle Farm O/35's 8, Elizabeth Grove O/35's 1.
ROUND 5
INGLE FARM O/35'S vs ATHELSTONE O/35'S ATHELSTONE SUNDAY, MAY 31, 2009
Dads Army travelled north east to play Athelstone on a very
bright autumn day.
To my surprise Vahid was with us today, I thought he was
there as an interpreter for Johnny Miller, but turned out he was there to play.
But no Oggy who was still recovering from the Swine Flu, and again the Albanian
Cat rocked up late.. Time to let day light savings go Mark!
So a squad of 14 today with Dazza, Patto and Brendo all fit
to play. The Athelstone team were playing "Under 35's" compared to
our over 35's. We ended up winning only 3-0 with goals to Vinney, Patto and
Scotty. To be fair it should have been 8-0, but we only got 3 after some fine
keeping from the Athelstone keeper and some fine misses by us.
Some low flying planes were in serious trouble of being
brought down by our shots, including one of my own. Peter “Ronaldo” Kingy
controlled the middle like he was playing in his back yard with the kids while
Lee “Rio” Perkins spent the first 10 minutes commentating while we attacked like
piranhas.
Our passing was spot on most of the day but Athelstone used
the "flooding" tactic well and usually had 9 men in their 18 yard
box, as we tried to dance the ball into the net. We must have picked up over
500 "Geelong like" possessions.
Bean came on in the second half but only lasted 2 minutes as he tripped himself
over and landed on his wrist, and crawled off. He may return next week sports
fans.
Our defence played well when needed and keeper Warwick pulled off a great point
blank save to keep his first clean sheet of the season. So that makes it 3 wins
in a row and up to 4th on the table.
Thanks to Edwin who came down and ref'd the game for us. I'm
gonna give the "all played well today" line, and we wonder if we will
ever see V again.
Arsene Toomer may need to watch his back now that Terry
Wallace has been given the sack from Richmond. ONLY us playing this
week some come down and have a laugh as it may be your only chance to see us
play.
BEAN COUNT this week NIL
PS.. Critical Tennant.. how about u coming down for a look and my reports are notcopyrighted, so feel free to use them in the Tentacles as Dads Army
don’t seem to get much of a mention, not even a table in last weeks issue?
Final Score: Ingle Farm O/35's 3, Athelstone O/35's 0.
By Gavin Powney
ROUND 6
INGLE FARM vs MODBURY JETS OLD BOYS WALKLEY PARK SUNDAY 14 JUNE 2009
Dad’s
Army hosted Modbury Jets Old Boys on a
cold winters day in front of a record crowd of 25.
Nearly enough to fill 2
teams today, cameo’s by Cameron and Wolverine and a welcome return from injury
for Neil Newman and Oggy, and the Albanian Cat was even there before the nets
were up. So tough decisions for coach Arsene Toomer, and he even had to give
his own shirt back.So we stuck to 5 on the bench and again fielded a strong
line up.
Modbury kicked off and there play maker was their big centre forward,
who was causing real problems for the
defence. We had a lot of the ball but our passing was diabolical and our
movement off the ball was none existent. We lost possession and the ball ended
up with the big forward who was pushed wide by the keeper only to have his shot
cleared off the line by myself. Close call but his time would come and 5
minutes later he scored after picking up a loose ball and blasting past the
keeper, under pressure from Rio Perkins.
We had yet to have a real attack and a
few changes were made and Wolverine made his debut, strolling on the park like
he owned it, so we stuck him on the big forward. Again our passing was breaking
down but we kept plugging away and kept the Jets at bay. Then in probably the
final 2 minutes of the first half, Patto scored a goal from nothing, after
controlling the bouncing ball and twisting and turning and slotting in the far
corner. 1-1 and a life line.. so it seemed.
Half time and off we go for a team
chat and a cuppa. Coach Toomer gives us a bollocking as the obvious errors are
pointed out. So out we go for 2nd half kicking downhill.
We started
to look more like a team, passing, calling, moving, yet still unable to score.
Then Patto was through on goals only for his shot to be saved, but bounce back
and hit the defender on the knee and head goal bound as all watched in
amazement, and finally a bit of luck our way, and 2-1 up.
From here on, the
Gods must have been watching because we then scored 5 more goals in 15 minutes.
Cameron turned a cross into a goal, as the keeper and everyone else was
expecting a cross that was miss kicked. Patto scored a sublime chip to make it
4-1, Cameron beat the offside trap and unselfishly set up Dazza to tap in to an
empty net 5-1. Patto scored his 3rd with a 18 yard shot, and then
Vinney made it 7-1 with a 20 yard shot into the corner, that gave the keeper no
chance.
Us defenders just stood in amazement and wondered what was going on.
Still the big Modbury forward was having more chances and put 2 more just wide
and had another cleared off the line. Warwick was playing well in goals and
forced the attackers wide at every opportunity.
Being 7-1 up coach Toomer Made
some changes and brought on Newman and Oggy, to the roar of the crowd. Oggy did
his best to let Modbury back in the game giving away 2 free kicks just outside
the 18 yard box.
Then a great through ball and wolverine is away with just the
keeper to beat, he passes to Patto, who passes back and wolverine casually
places the shot only to see the post rattled half way up and the rebound falls
to Patto who dissects the post and the keeper to make it 8-1 and 4 to Patto. An
outstanding performance by Stevie Pat today and well supported by his fellow
forwards.
An amazing game of 2 halves, and yet Modbury would be shaking their
heads with the final score. The website shows 9-1.. did I miss one??? Maybe it was when I was laughing so much
after watching Oggy tackle (or dance) with the Modbury 15 year old winger and
someone yelled out “buy him a fruit box Oggy before you ask him out.”
So 4 in a
row now and the season is looking good. 2nd leg of the Cup this week
vs Modbury Vista (2-2), not sure of kick off time yet. Thanks to all who came
down to watch us, and no rain this week. And where was Jason Eddy Walker???
Injury Update, Darren Brus will be out of action for up to 6 weeks, so no Bean
Count, and giving coach Toomer real headaches on who to play up front with
Patto now...
Till
next week........ J
ROUND 7
MODBURY JETS ASC vs INGLE FARM JET PARK SUNDAY 21 JUNE 2009
ROUND 8
INGLE FARM vs PARA HILLS WEST A ROWE PARK - INGLE FARM JUNIORS GROUND SUNDAY 28 JUNE 2009
Dads army played at home, away
today.. you follow..? Due to all Farm teams scheduled to play home, we needed to
find another venue and as Hindmarsh wasn’t big enough to hold our supporters so
we played on the juniors pitch. Lucky it wasn’t raining as we had no change
rooms to change in, which also meant no showers. Someone asked if we had to
bring our own nets!
Three super stars returned to the line up today, Rio
Perkins, Ronaldo Kingy and myself.. ok maybe 2 superstars. So a team of 15
today, with the Albanian cat again rocking up late.
The wind was blowing hard as
we kicked off with it, prob worth an extra 10 meters in the kick, on the very
thin pitch. PHW were a very tall side, so we needed to keep the ball on the deck
and not give away any needless corners. In our previous 2 games we had been real
slow and lazy in the first halves, which was mentioned before kick off.
The first
chance fell to Golden Boot Patto who had his one on one with the keeper saved
and pushed wide for a corner. The game was moving fast from end to end, but West
had no real shots. Then some fine build up on the left and a cross to Towner who
hit it sweetly first time over the keeper but onto the cross bar, but Golden
Boot was on hand and neatly put it away for 1-0 Farm.
Soon after Robbie left the
game with a big cut to the head after a heavy clash, prob needing stitches, he
may still be in the Modbury Emergency waiting rooms. The game went on with no
real shots then a PHW attack was only half cleared and the ball came back in to
the forward who was all alone in the 18 yard box who side stepped then made it
1-1 past keeper Warwick.
More fine work on the left and Golden boot had another
1 on 1 saved, rather fluky by the keeper’s feet, but he was to make amends as
this time the right side made the play for Dazza to cut in past his defender and
lay it off for Golden boot to place in the bottom corner. 2-1 and that’s how it
stayed till half time.
2nd half under way Rio is on for the injured
Dazza and it’s a real dog fight in the midfield, then a ball down the left wing
for PHW and a real nothing cross that somehow beats, defenders, forward’s and
keeper to bounce in off the last PHW forward to make it 2-2.
We make some
changes, on comes the Cat and Ladies Man Oggy. The game is getting a bit ugly
and the PHW players are starting to mouth off at the ref. Oggy is subbed off but
goes into the record books as the quickest sub as 30 seconds later he’s back on
as Rudi hobbles off.
Then PHW is reduced to 10 men for the final 10 minutes due
to more abuse to the ref. The game ends 2-2, prob a fair result for 2 teams
sitting 3rd and 4th. So we pull the nets down and all head
back to Vinnies for a shower and cup of hot tea.
So a few injury concerns for
next week’s big clash with the Woodpeckers. We may even see the return of Brendo
and Mr Bean. Special mention to Scotty who played in one glove today as a
special tribute to his fallen idol, Michael Jackson (RIP Michael)
And thanks to Edwin for coming down
to ref the game under considerable pressure from PHW…That’s all sports fans.
Final score: Ingle Farm 2 Para Hills West 2.
By Gavin Powney
